Giving Myself Credit

16 Jun

As I drove to one of my last days of school last Thursday, I was quite sad, crying behind my sunglasses.  They weren’t  tears of sadness – or even joy, but rather tears of dissatisfaction with how I played my year as a dance teacher in DC.  I find the kids’ reaction at the end of the year is a clear way to gauge the impact I have made, and the entire week of goodbyes was extremely underwhelming.  I wondered if I had really taught anything.

The school year was complete, there were no do-overs, and I got out of it exactly what I put into it.  Of course, I could give you a list of excuses based on the very non-ideal circumstances I was in, but I won’t.  If there is one thing that I learned from my friend Raul it is that circumstances  don’t rule me, I rule them. 🙂

But you know, it is so easy to be so hard on yourself, find your faults and forget the good stuff.  When I sat back and thought of all the things I took on this year (in addition to teaching at school) I realize it is the first year I:

-Taught yoga at a studio (at least 3 times a week)

-Taught yoga to an older generation during their lunch break

-Taught pre-school and pre-K (and LOVED it!)

-Taught pre-ballet after school (which was a success)

-Had a husband!

-Taught tap dance to middle school and high schoolers

That’s a lot, and it’s important to give myself credit for those new ways I branched out and learned from them.  And if I look at how I taught dance from a different angle, I can find many moments of success as a dance teacher in the schools.  I was a bright spot for most of those kids many of those days, I provided an opportunity for them to explore, create, and move!  Although there weren’t any huge performances, or any real tangible evidence – I did make a difference, and maybe it was just smaller than I would have liked.

So now I get to have a second chance.  I will be teaching a camp for three weeks that I am prepared to kick butt in and give it as much as I can.  So I can leave those three weeks with an extreme sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.  When I give it my all, that is when I find the most value in my work and in myself.  

2 Responses to “Giving Myself Credit”

  1. chelsea June 17, 2012 at 10:55 pm #

    I think you are AWESOME and have made an impact on many peoples lives (including mine!) question is…..when are u coming back to nyc???

    • leahannefox June 17, 2012 at 10:59 pm #

      Aw Chelsea! Thanks for that sweet note. And I will be back July 6th! Can hardly wait. See you soon!

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